How I Got Revenge After My Ex Dated A Celebrity

“However I actually like making you sandwiches,” I whimper. The Man says he doesn’t consider catering to him will make me blissful. He desires autonomy, not a pet. 

I’ve simply stepped, catlike, out of the bathe, in his short-term Los Angeles rental the place I’ve been half-living since day three of our assembly, three months in the past. He’s in a rush to get to work — and away from me.

Whereas brushing his enamel, he tells me it’s over. His parting phrases: “And wipe your face!”

Surprised, I make a circle within the foggy mirror and see a strand of white snot hanging from my nostril. I’m a loser.

One week later, I used to be gently knowledgeable by a pal that The Man had already moved on. To somebody well-known. A-list well-known. Earlier than I may catch my breath, it was headline information. On TV, on my cellphone, even in {a magazine} within the grocery retailer checkout line — there they had been, “canoodling.”

I spent the remainder of that week slumping round, blubbering. Unable to eat. Coronary heart crushed. Ego obliterated. Disgrace spiraling after seeing myself by way of the tough mild of his child blues. Each insufferable feeling I poured into an epic breakup track, smearing the ink in my pocket book with tears.

When his mom emailed me a photograph from our current go to (apparently unaware of his improve), my disappointment turned to rage.

“I’ll present him,” I assumed, narrowing my eyes, steam popping out of my ears. Out loud — so the fairies, the universe, God and my greatest pal may hear — I proclaimed: “He’ll see me! He’ll hear me! He gained’t be capable to escape me!”

To get again at him — or get him again — I must turn into well-known. 

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